Welcome to Night Vale

“And now for a brief public service announcement: Alligators. Can they kill your children? Yes. Along those lines, to get personal for a moment, I think the best way to die would be: swallowed by a giant snake. Going feet first and whole into a slimy maw would give your life perfect symmetry.”

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The Sopranos

Paulie Walnuts: Amazing thing about snakes is that they reproduce spontaneously.

Tony Soprano: What do you mean?

Paulie Walnuts: They have both male and female sex organs. That’s why somebody you don’t trust you call a snake. How can you trust a guy who can literally go fuck themselves?

Tony Soprano: Don’t you think that expression would’ve come from the Adam and Eve story? When the snake tempted Eve to bite the apple?

Paulie Walnuts: Hey, snakes were fucking themselves long before Adam and Eve showed up, T.