D. F. Wallace – Infinite Jest

Nothingness. He says when he tries to pray he gets this like image in his mind’s eye of the brainwaves or whatever of his prayers going out and out, with nothing to stop them, going, going, radiating out into like space and outliving him and still going and never hitting Anything out there, much less Something with an ear. Much much less Something with an ear that could possibly give a rat’s ass.

*M. Ciurlionis – Creation of the World III


Clearly this is not an atheist manifesto. By no means. We need not to  look outside our selves, scrutinizing the whole universe for proofs and hints. We have deeper problems inside.  Here’s an example. A case of hopelessness. Someone whose prayer is started with bad intentions, with no positive motifs. In this picture it doesn’t even get out of his head, much less the planet. The saddest case. An attempt for communication with the presupposition that there is an ear to catch it. A subject that would understand. Masochism. Panic. ‘Chaotic movements of depression’ isthe theme. This poor guy, he doesn’t even want to reach somebody, he only makes weak excuses for himself. Even worse, we all do that at times.


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